***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave-
What's up buddy? Once again you have done it. The
C & F routine works like a charm. I've been
getting your newsletters for a while now and all
of the advice has been great. I've been meaning to
get the book, but I'm a poor-ass college student
(any contributions out there to my book fund?)
...I'll eventually pick it up in a game of pool
sharking or something... Anyway...one success
story here...
I went out with my friend a couple nights ago
(easily a 9), and I've known her since HS. When we
got to the club, I POURED ON the C & F. At one
point in her conversation, she told me she was out
of smokes. Now, instead of doing the "wussy"
thing, which would be to go buy her another pack,
I said "There are plenty of girls in here who will
give me some" (That works on so many levels). So,
I left the table and went up to five different
girls and got two cigarettes from each (one for
now, one for the road). Nonetheless, my friend was
set aback by the whole thing, and said that she
didn't know I was such a ladies man. I said
something like "Just giving the public what it
wants". She started to get so competitive with me,
that she decided that she needed to get some
random guy's number (maybe for self confidence
issues, whatever...). So, while she was doing
that, I decided to step it up a notch. While she
was taking the time to get one number, I proceeded
to get THREE numbers from three different girls,
using the C & F routine (hot damn, it works!). She
came back to me, and without saying anything,
showed me the number. I countered and showed my
three numbers. Nonetheless, at this point she was
so crazy jealous over me, that we ended the night
@ my place. sweet... One last comment...
Dave, you talked about Triumph the Insult Comic
Dog in your one of your emails...and it got me to
thinking of different examples of C & F. I found
the PERFECT one the other day. Tom Cruise in the
movie Top Gun. If you haven't seen it in like 10
years like I had, rent it again...NO --- BUY IT!
It is the perfect example of what to do. He's
cocky and funny (obviously). Look at the scene in
the bar when he first meets the girl. Seemed like
he "crashed and burned" until he went into the
ladies room and approached the girl. Also, he is
the master of ANTICIPATION. How many times did he
leave the girl hanging in the movie? Like 5
times??? Excellent. It works.
Now, we may all not look like Tom Cruise or fly a
F-14 or whatever, but I guarantee you that if a
lesser looking man would be cast in that role, all
the women would be screaming in ecstasy the same
way...since the C&F is there. Thanks Dave - take
it easy bro.
D from CO
>>>MY COMMENTS:
NICE!
You have demonstrated an understanding of the
PRINCIPLES that are involved with this whole
"psychology of women and dating", and for that you
get a gold star.
*
You like it?
This is what you call "all good all the time",
and it shows how you took the situation that was
in front of you, and used the resources around you
to dial up the sexual tension.
Yes, I actually mention the bathroom scene
in Top Gun as an example of being Cocky and Funny.
It's an interesting scene, because to the
uninitiated, he comes across as not doing well. Of
course, if you understand the dynamics behind
sexual attraction, you understand that by keeping
his cool and boldly going where no man has gone
before (into the lady's room after her) he comes
across very powerfully.
I think your quote of "Just giving the public
what it wants" might be one of my favorites of
all time. I may well steal it and take credit for
thinking it up on my own, I like it so much. Would
you accept a small royalty on it for each use?
Love it!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I must admit, I knew this stuff would work, but I
had no idea how well. I am a 37 yo divorced man,
a little unsure around hot women, always have been
funny, needed the cocky. I wasn't getting a lot of
attention until Saturday night. I was eating
supper at a very nice hotel bar, when a very
classy, very hot lady sat next to me. I was
reading the paper and she asked if she could see
some of it. I looked at her sort of reluctantly
and said, "Well, I'm done with the sports section,
but you have to give it back." Then I turned away
and continued reading. She tried twice to start a
conversation, to which I responded shortly. Then
I turned on the C/F thing full bore! Within 10
minutes she was touching my leg, and telling me
all about her life! She literally was eating off
of my plate! I asked her what I was going to get
in return for the food she ate, and she turned
beet red. I told her she couldn't back away, she
had already eaten it! To wrap up, we went to
listen to some live music, she asked me what I
wanted to do, I told her, and we spent the rest of
the night, at her place, doing those very things!
Dave, she was WAY out of my league, I mean a high
priestess in the shrine of fine! This was a night
for the archives, and I have to give you credit!
TW in NC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
A HIGH PRIESTESS IN THE SHRINE OF FINE!
Take me to church my man and preach me the
gospel.
You have provided a PERFECT TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE
(my textbook, of course) of how to use Cocky and
Funny with a woman you've just met.
Here are a couple of high points for me:
1) When she first sat down, you basically paid no
attention to her at all, and in fact, you gave her
a little bit of a hard time by only giving her a
little of your paper and telling her that you want
it back. This is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what
every other guy she meets does, and I'm sure that
it set you apart instantly as a man who ISN'T
NEEDY.
2) Only after she tried to make casual
conversation TWICE with you did you proceed. This
creates a great position for you, because she's
now subtly pursuing you, and if she starts being
sassy about you teasing her, you can always say
"Hey, I was just sitting here minding my own
business and you keep trying to talk to me" in a
sarcastic tone. The magic of a line like this, by
the way, is that it's MOSTLY TRUE, and it's also
VERY FUNNY.
3) Only after she "succeeded in getting you to
talk to her" did you progress into the Cocky and
Funny... and it was a situation that lends itself
to "conversation". Nice.
4) You made a nice, yet subtle move when you asked
her what you were going to get in return for the
food she ate... This works so well because she
obviously ate a small amount off of your plate, so
it's ridiculous to assume that she actually owes
you anything. The comment is powerful because it
is FUNNY as well as SUGGESTIVE.
You're another hero of mine. I'm going to get a
shirt made with a picture of you on it - if that's
OK.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
Hi Dave,
Since you always seem to be tickled pink about
getting responses from women I thought I'd drop
you a line. I've gotta confess that I have been
reading your mailbag-emails for about a month now
and think most of your "research" is really quite
amazing. You've nailed a lot of stuff and I've
really enjoyed reading about it.
Some of it I read and to think, to quote someone
else, "DAMN, that's what he was trying to do." It
cracks me up to know what guys are up to, it's so
cute to know that they're trying. Still other
parts of it I read and wonder how some people
cannot grasp or understand the concepts... maybe
some of it comes naturally to me. I mean, who
doesn't like to be teased, flirted with and
stimulated? The c&f routine works just as well
for me as guys I think because so many guys (at
least the ones I know) expect women to be
flattered and taken by surprise when they spring
the c&f routine on them. When I started countering
them with my own version, we would end up having a
blast. We would end up talking for hours,
laughing and discussing anything and everything
under the sun - it was exciting, intelligent, and
just plain fun talk. I remember one newsletter
where you said your techniques are for "picking
girls up"... but you didn't specialize in longer
lasting relationships. I started thinking...
maybe when you can BOTH create the kind of
attraction you're teaching, the result is not just
a couple dates but a great (longer lasting)
relationship. The guy c&f routine seems incredibly
one-sided to me... yes it gets you guys hot dates
and sex and whatever you're looking for lol, but
don't you eventually get bored with women simply
laughing at your jokes without being able to keep
up the banter themselves? I know I would. I was
just curious what you or other guys had to say
about this. Meanwhile, keep up the great
"counseling"... a lot of guys I know have
benefited from your advice and have become a lot
more fun to hang out with! You rock ;) A fan, A.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, it's humbling to me when a smart person
writes in and says something better than I could
say it... ESPECIALLY when it's from a woman who is
sharp, articulate, and obviously loves my stuff.
The thing that really struck me about your
email here is that you said "It cracks me up to
know what guys are up to, it's so cute to know
that they're trying."
You totally get what's going on, and in fact,
you see this situation for what it is... guys
learning how to be more attractive to women so
that women will actually feel more attracted to
them. And it is charming in its own way.
And you understand how much more FUN it is to
be around a guy who:
1) Isn't a totally WUSSY.
2) Has a sense of humor.
3) Knows how to keep things interesting by being
unpredictable, charming and slightly too big for
his britches.
And you've pointed out something that's been
hard for me to put into words, but now I have
it...
If a woman isn't sharp enough, funny enough or
together enough emotionally to deal with a man
who's being Cocky and Funny, then she's probably
not going to be very interesting in a long term
relationship either.
My personal experience is that women who CAN'T
sense what's really going on or who get upset and
take things too personally, often have major
issues and can't relate very well at more intimate
levels either.
And why would you want to be with a woman who
can't keep up with you for the LONG term?
Thanks for the great email.
..and how many times do I have to say this...
if you're a sharp, attractive woman you MUST SEND
PICTURES WITH YOUR EMAILS TO ME... One each in
casual, formal, and bathing attire, from three
main angles, plus profile shots.
Also include daytime phone number as well as
email address. Nice.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
Aloha David,
Okay i am a women and well i love receiving your
news letter. It not only helps men but it helps
women too. See i am 21 and i never went to college
instead i started a business and it is very
successful on this little lava rock i live on. I
own a car shop and a drag strip. Weird isn't it
women doing that sort of thing. Well anyway i have
always been a tom boy. My guy friends call me a
man in womens body. The weird thing is God gave me
to a womanly body. Try like a 36-24-36... Well
anyway in high school i dressed like a complete
boy i never wore a dress unless it was prom. I
never wore make up unless i had to do a show or if
it was prom. I was on my high school football
team. Well now i dress more womanly i still don't
wear make up. But i still hang out with yuh know
the boys. Now i would say that 90% of my friends
are guys. Because i love sports, i am not
emotional, i don't cry, i love to camp, and well i
drink beer and i love it. Well all my guy friends
have suddenly gone mushy on me and i didn't think
of it as anything in the beginning when they would
ask me to go out to dinner. But now most of them
are like how can i say this... in love with me...
most of them have told me that they love me and i
am like the dream girl... blah blah... but now my
question is... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?????... i
want them as my friends not as lovers... i am not
ready for that... they know i have been engaged
before and that he hurt me really bad. But is
there anyway i can let them down nicely without
hurting our friendship... because i love them just
in a brotherly way... Thanks man...
L, Hawaii
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I have a PERFECT idea. I think that you
need to tell them that you are already involved
with a guy, and that he's very charming and lives
in California.
I will agree, as part of this arrangement, to
have you fly me to Hawaii quarterly to "pose" as
your boyfriend and demonstrate that you are, in
fact, involved.
I will stay for one week, be seen with you at
all the Island Hot Spots, and allow you to
purchase dinner and entertainment for us (plus pay
me a small, nominal fee for my "services").
I don't usually like to get involved with women
who are 21 and have athletic "womanly 36-24-36"
bodies, but in your case I will make an exception
this ONE TIME... because you are in such a time of
need.
...OK, the reason that I've included your email
is because...
IT ROCKS!
...Oh, and because I wanted to point something
out about how guys behave, and how women see it.
Most women intuitively know that every single
one of their guy "friends" would jump in the sack
with them with 3 seconds notice.
In fact, most attractive women believe that
EVERY GUY THAT EVEN TALKS TO THEM WANTS THEM, and
that any guy who they've even SPOKEN WITH would
get in bed with them if the opportunity was there.
"Cool" women like yourself, who have several
cool guy friends and are successful, independent
and attractive, have so much opportunity that it
ACTUALLY GOES FROM BEING FLATTERING TO BEING
OUTRIGHT ANNOYING.
For you there really isn't an easy answer.
You're just going to either have to invite me out
there to pose as your man or learn how to cope
with "guy friend puppydogitis" (You should invite
me, it would be so much easier).
But for any guy who doesn't realize this, it's
a big lesson.
Remember that most women think you want them.
So don't act like you want them at the very
beginning. Lean back, give her space, and use the
techniques you're learning from me to amplify the
attraction and tension so she is OVERCOME with
the emotions that lead to you and her getting
together.
Don't be another "guy friend" who's "fallen for
her".
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Success story:
I spend alot of time at a specific beach bar,
somewhere in the Mediterranean, and I've had very
satisfying results following this: I bust on the
waitresses and attractive female bar tenders, but
never ask for their info. I keep going hot/cold on
them. Example: I promise (jokingly) that I will
never forget her all my life if she fixes me the
PERFECT drink, and, of course the drink is never
good enough and forget them at once. Then when
they say hi, I go: Who are you, anyway? can't a
man have a peaceful moment sitting at the bar
without a girl coming over...etc. So, having this
C&f interaction with the staff, REALLY helps when
I talk to other girls I meet on the spot, who
sense t hat the staff is already attracted, and
try harder for my attention. This has worked fine.
Question: (well more than one)
1. Sometimes girls seem to get genuinely upset when
I am aloof and indifferent. They talk sourly when
I (finally) address them, and ask "what do you
want from me?"
2. What about calling her the day after sex? They
also seem totally pissed off if I don't
call/talk/SMS them the day after. they seem
particularly sensitive about that. Any comments?
3. I know that you prefer email to direct
phone calls. Well, not many people have email over
here. Every body has mobile phones though. Does
SMS do the same as email? I personally have not
concluded which works better, phone call (to a
mobile phone) or SMS
Any comments on the above would be GREATLY
appreciated. MC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I love your examples of Cocky and Funny. Very
nice.
To answer your questions...
Yes, in the real world, sometimes a woman will
get upset because you're indifferent, or because
you make fun and bust on her... it happens.
It's sooo hard for men to see that some women
just aren't going to be right for them, and that
some women aren't fun or interesting.
Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean
that she's also sweet, kind, loving, stable, etc.
Men tend to instantly assume that attractive
women are more honest, more friendly, more
trustworthy, etc. JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE.
And it just isn't so. You will have to strike
your own personal balance in regards to how you
act towards women, and you'll have to learn for
yourself which signs to watch out for.
I personally have no time for a woman who can't
deal with a little teasing or who gets upset
because she's not the center of attention and
being courted like a princess.
I laugh if a woman gets upset by one of my
jokes... IT'S VERY FUNNY! I just say "lighten up,
a bad attitude isn't attractive".
As for your other two questions, I'm just not
sure. Test.
I will say that if you don't talk to a woman
the day or so after sex (whether she calls you or
you call her) she'll usually assume that you
aren't interested in anything more and will
probably have a higher chance of resenting you if
you call again later... because she's more likely
in this situation to feel like a "booty call".
***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I really congratulate you on the job you are doing
with your write ups. I meet a girl in a bus one
night, I approached her but our discussion was
little, i was able to get her email address, for
the next 7 months we've been communicating through
the internet. Right now she's inviting me for a
date to meet with her again. Pls kindly tell me
how to make her like me Thanks and regards,
P...from Nigeria
>>>MY COMMENTS:
WHOA, 7 months?
I guess you've taken the "play hard to get"
thing to a whole new level.
The way to make a woman like you is to:
1) Not act like all the other average guys out
there.
2) Make her laugh.
3) Be unpredictable, challenging, and mysterious.
...of course there are more ingredients, but
use these for your next meeting.
Don't act nervous or uncomfortable. Treat her
like you've known her all your life... almost like
she's your bratty little sister.
Tease her and make her laugh. Have fun.
Don't be PREDICTABLE. Do things that surprise
her. Say things that keep her wanting to hear
more. Tell interesting stories and don't answer
her questions directly... instead, make her work
for the answers.
And enjoy yourself... you sure have waited long
enough.
***QUESTION***
Hi, Dave. To start off - your book and method
rock. If someone does not believe this - tell them
to go and ask attractive women. I have a few
questions for about picking up women online. Let's
say a man is talking to a woman on icq or msn
Instant messenger (a lot more women are using
instant messaging systems than dating sites). He's
using C&F (otherwise she probably would not talk
to him). When is it the right time to ask for the
phone number? (I remember you said in one of your
newsletters that the faster the better). Because
even those you are being C&F, women are still
afraid of freaks (and they should be). So what
would you suggest - 1st conversation, maybe
second, or should I wait for a week (let's assume
she is laughing all the time)? Also it is not hard
to come up with conversation starters - how would
you suggest I should start a conversation? (I'm
normally asking some interesting controversial
questions, but I could use your advice).
All men and women should thank you for the job you
do!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Interesting, controversial questions are great
ways to start conversations online with women.
It's also fun to poke fun at their profiles when
opening.
Your other question, about how to get them to
talk to you on the phone, is the interesting one.
The answer is actually pretty simple. Don't
wait very long to get on the phone.
Just like most guys are afraid to ask women for
their phone numbers in person, most guys online
are too reluctant to take steps to get a woman on
the telephone because they're afraid of getting
rejected and losing their chances for good.
If a woman is having fun chatting with you,
just say, "OK, it's time for me to go, but let's
talk later like normal people do on the phone... I
want to see if you can keep this up live in
person." etc.
Women will often say "I don't talk to people I
meet on the internet". You want to get this as
soon as possible, because a lot of women won't
talk to you NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
It's better to find out sooner than later.
And if she's interested, but not ready for a
phone conversation she'll probably say "Let's talk
online some more first", etc.
Get her on the phone sooner rather than later
or you'll wind up wasting a lot of time chatting
and little time progressing.
I'd also like to mention that the internet is a
great place to PRACTICE talking to women. You
don't have to meet women that you chat with
online... it can just be a fun way to meet new
people and practice your humor and conversation
skills.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave !
I`ve met a women that I really adore. She`s one
heck of smart, sweet-looking , GREAT chiq ... We
met in a restaurant and I managed to secure her e-
mail.
We have been e-mailing each another for about 4
months now. The problem is that we keep talking
about movies, our holidays and... bla bla.
I tried asking her phone number casually in the
mail but she just bluntly ignored. We do still
mail each another but nothing really personal that
we talk about.
So Dave , what should I do ? How can I get her
started on talking about us...or perhaps to go out
for a coffee/movie ("date") with this chiq... I
sincerely am desperate for her... But ( I`m still
on your prescription of NOT being a WHUSS )...
Please help, Dave !
rgds,
M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Houston, I think we have problem.
"WHUSS"?
Don't make me try to pronounce that word...
I have bad news for you:
1) You don't know how to even spell the word
"Wuss", which is short for WUSSY.
2) You are ACTING like this thing that you cannot
spell.
Look, you couldn't have made yourself into more
of a "friend" (as in "I only like you as a") if
you tried.
I was about to start telling you what to do
next time you get a woman's email address, but
then I realized that it would probably take me 100
pages just to get the basics out on paper...
And then I had an Ah-Ha!
"THIS GUY NEEDS TO READ MY BOOK". Duh.
OK, you need to go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/13564/eBook/
...as soon as possible and download it. Unless,
that is, you enjoy investing 4 MONTHS in email
relationships that aren't going anywhere.
I know, it's not good news, but you've put
about 4 months worth of nails in the coffin, and
even I can't help you.
Best thing is to learn what to do next time,
and make sure you learn how to cure your acute
case of WUSS-BAG-ALYSIS.
***QUESTION***
David,
I have downloaded your book and it reads great,
but it looks to me like your techniques only works
with guys who are of average or better looks.
Don't get me wrong I don't have terrible scars or
weigh 400lbs, but I have faced the fact that I'm
not what women find good looking. I've tried
buying nice clothes and improving my looks as much
as I can, but it doesn't seem to help. What's
worse, the fact that nothing has helped has only
decreased my self confidence.
It seems to me that a cocky attitude would come
off as stupid from a guy like me. How can your
techniques work for guys who are below average in
looks and have self-confidence in the gutter? D
in Cincy
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have no idea where you got the impression
that my techniques only work for guys who are "of
average or better looks". Have you read these
mailbags for very long?
I've had guys who are old, bald, weigh 400
pounds and every other "less than average" thing
you can think of, write in to tell their success
stories.
Your problem is your attitude and the fact that
you let your emotions control your mind.
Just because a woman doesn't respond to you, or
getting new clothes doesn't magically make you
successful, is no reason to get bummed out.
Here's my personal attitude:
I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES, I'M GOING TO
GET THIS THING FIGURED OUT.
When I started out learning how to meet women,
I didn't have the benefit of the knowledge that I
have now.
I had to figure most of this stuff out from
scratch. It took me a few YEARS before I was able
to finally say "OK, I know how to meet women."
Now, I think that with the benefit of the
materials I've put together and these newsletters,
etc., most guys can shave a LOT of time off their
success curve and can start having SOME level of
success almost immediately.
Have you gotten online and chatted with women?
Have you taken up a hobby where there are
naturally more women than men involved?
Have you put yourself in situations that lead
to you automatically meeting women?
And by the way, a "cocky" attitude isn't what
you want...
You need a Cocky and FUNNY attitude. You need
to make women LAUGH. If you can make women
laugh, you're most of the way home.
Don't accept less than you want out of life.
Don't do it.
And don't let your emotions permanently change
your outlook or stop you from taking action in the
future.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, First off, I wish I could thank you in
person for all the things I've learned from you.
You truly are the master and you've shown me the
light of my wussy-ways. I've had relative success,
being that I've only recently started using your
techniques and am still learning; I think I'm
getting better at least. But my problem lies in
the fact that I'm a naturally, overly silent
person. While I don't have any problem
approaching a woman, talking to them, and being
C&F, I find a lot of holes in my conversation that
no matter how well thought out or brief my
conversation is, cut in just enough to break
things down badly. This has been a problem I've
been working with for along time and it's not
looking to bright that I'll come out the other end
of the tunnel any time soon. I was hoping you
could explain how to use body language and general
actions other than speech, to increase the
attraction and hopefully help with some of the
pauses. You truly are the god of this and take
pity on this young apprentice.
Thanks again, S.D. Virginia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
No problem.
Just make sure that when there IS a silence in
the conversation that you DON'T ACT WEIRD ABOUT
IT.
In fact, it can be great to let there be a
silence every once in awhile. When you act totally
cool and calm, it puts pressure on her to keep
things going.
As for body language, you can just turn away
and lean back for a few moments. As long as you're
not acting nervous, this can create a powerful and
magnetic situation.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Sorry it's so long! Lot to tell!
Dave,
Wanted to share a success story with everyone!
Hey, a man has to brag! (Now I can thanks to your
techniques!). Went away for a golfing weekend with
a mate and met a model who has appeared in
magazines. A definite 10 surrounded by 7's. There
must have been 10 other guys at the resort vying
for her attention, and guess who got her?
Why? A number of reasons, and all from your book,
and mailbag. I came across as a guy who wanted
nothing else from her other than friendship, even
telling her I was gay (She knew otherwise because
of my other C&F Comments). I would walk away
whenever I wanted, even with the competition
hanging around her like flies. (It helped that I
spoke to everyone, and everyone got to know me, so
she was no one special!)
Can you believe she started making the moves? And
then I let the C&F out, busting her on all her
insecurities. I got so many looks of disbelief
from those standing around. They couldn't believe
I could say what I did! Some even tried to counter
me by using wuss comments. Example, she dyes her
hair deep red. I just asked how she manages to die
her roots brown (Not that I could see them). Her
jaw dropped, she hit me, and some wuss pipes up,
"Don't worry, I think your hair is beautiful". My
reply, "Well some people will settle for second
best!". Another Punch (and laugh!)
The absolute winner came when we were watching a
rugby match on TV in the lounge. She was sitting
with her parents, so I pulled up a chair along
side them, and as I sat down I immediately jumped
up, and said, "Hey, watch the hands!" Giving her a
disapproving look! Of course she denied
everything, her parents laughed (They loved me
because of my attitude, and the fact I wasn't one
of the normal wussy men she brought home.)
She still doesn't know my age, thinks I make blow-
up dolls for a living, but wants to see me again.
DESPERATELY. We're seeing each other this weekend
again, and she was the one who asked! Incredible!
One comment, though! I often read guys asking for
what to say in certain situations. I was even
going to suggest you put that in your next book.
But over the last couple of months I've realized
that the C&F routine has to be spontaneous. These
guys are asking for pickup lines, and that's not
what it's about! Guys, use the examples to get the
concept of C&F, not the lines! The examples should
be used for the attitude, if you remember the
lines, they're going to sound canned!
Thanks Dave! Seems like I'm the only one in my
country with this info! ;-)
GC (South Africa)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, you just gotta love asking a model how she
"manages to dye the roots of her hair" a different
color. That's a classic!
Great story, and keep me up to date about what
happens.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi David
I'm a UK reader of your book and emails and was
initially skeptical of whether they would work in
the UK, since the dating rules are a little
different from the US and other parts of the world
- trust me I know - I've been in bars in NY where
a smart watch, a decent suit and educated
conversation (plus a bar bill the size of the
gross national debt of Peru) will get you laid in
about 20 minutes. In San Fancisco it was even
easier, a British accent and basic motor neuron
functioning seemed to work. Being straight
probably didn't hurt either.
Women in North America seem to have no problem
approaching guys in a bar. However in the UK it's
a different story. Men are expected to make the
first move all the time and take the risks. I have
always been telling my friends that they never
actually pull a woman, she allows herself to be
pulled by you, i.e., you need to look for the "buy
signals" from her before going in to close the
deal, and by simply doing that you increase your
success rate.
The question has always been: "How do you
encourage those buy signals?"
David, buddy, you have shown us the light. The
jigsaw is complete. and You are right in your book
that some men just seem to know this intuitively -
or they may just be a@#holes - but the effect is
much the same. Be cocky and funny, laugh them into
bed, confuse them, and above all don't worry about
it - we call this the Bastard Magnet in the UK.
Every girl loves a bastard.
So how does it work in un the UK in practice? -
well like a charm: my current favorite is this
(apologies if this seems verbose, but I talk
quickly and as a lawyer am often expected to make
long statements like this, but it's important to
make it sound like a parody of a lecture or a
submission - your whole thing about the importance
of being in character is spot on):
Me: If we're walking I pull her up and say, "And
so we come to the part of the evening where
according to the rules of dating I am obliged to
entice you back to my place for sex. Now I also
fully understand that according to the rules of
dating, you are obliged to refuse on the grounds
of chastity and the usual requirements of self-
respect and esteem. However, importantly, I also
realize that you will be EXPECTING me to ask you
back, and in fact, if I don't, you will experience
feelings of inadequacy and question your
attractiveness. So why don't we take it as read
that this interchange has taken place, honour has
been satisfied and we can get on with the evening?
Her: "Absolutely right..." Me: "Good..." Her:
"...OK then, let's go back to your place"
Looking back on it, I am surprised, but all the
elements are there - Cocky (you expect me to ask
you back), funny (conflict between her feelings of
attractiveness and self-esteem), care-less
attitude (take it as read and get on with the
evening), character (I'm talking as if I'm giving
a lecture or making an argument in court), and
taking charge. Dude, the samurai weren't the best
because they had the best technique, they were the
best because they had no fear of death - thanks
for taking the fear out of failure.
When you come to London, email me and we'll grab a
beer.
Cheers
JL
>>>MY COMMENTS:
These are some of the best examples of how to
be Cocky and Funny in different situations that
I've ever seen.
This is amazing... I love it.
It's charming, funny, and incredible. Awesome.
***QUESTION***
hi David,
i have been hard on myself for a few days now from
not making the move to kiss this girl who i have
loved for so long. she gave me the signal, but i
didn't follow through. i panicked. now i worry she
won't ever give me another chance considering this
ha happened before when i don't make the move. she
knows i love her a great deal. i even called and
left a message the next day to see if she wanted
to see a movie with me. she didn't reply back. do
you think i should be concerned or do you think
I'll get another chance to be her boyfriend? and
to help me, what can i do to not hesitate the next
time around when i feel she wants to be kissed?
l.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a problem.
If a woman knows that it's time for you to kiss
her, and you DON'T DO IT because you're too
nervous, you'll probably not get another chance at
it.
The way to not hesitate next time is to use
"The Kiss Test", as described on my website, in my
book, in my CD audio series, in my seminars, and
in every frickin' thing I teach ever.
Dude, go download a copy of my book online.
It's just not worth screwing up these kinds of
opportunities just because you don't know what to
do.
It's important that you learn how to move
forward in ALL of the different situations you'll
find yourself in with women... not just kissing
them.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
You are the man! I have been using your
techniques and I am definitely seeing results.
But, I have a problem with you. You see, I have
written at least twice before, but you have never
printed my stuff! I mean, what, are my stories
not successful enough? Please include this as
soon as possible. OK, what has worked for me?
Well, one time I was at the mall, this girl didn't
have her shoes on. So I say, "Isn't it store
policy to be wearing shoes while you're working? I
mean, what the hell's wrong with this picture?" So
I was teasing her and all that good stuff, and I
got her phone number. I work in a liquor store,
and I thought of giving girls fake surveys to fill
out. So one time, this hottie asks for a 30 pk.
beer. I get it for her. Then she leaves. I catch
up with her at the parking lot, and I say, "Hey, I
didn't get to give this to you while you were
inside. I was just wondering if you wanted to take
a quick survey." She says sure. So I give her the
paper. It looks like this:
(Company name) Survey
NAME
PHONE NUMBER
E-MAIL (OPTIONAL)
AGE
She starts laughing. She says, "This isn't real!"
I say, "Of course it is. I want to personally
make sure that your next experience here will be
even better." She's laughing this whole time and
accuses me again of the survey being fake. I say,
"OK, fine, but you have to give me points for
being creative." She asks me who's it for, and I
say it's for me. She starts filling it out. She's
reading it and she says, "E-mail, optional, that's
cute." I say, "I know." So we chitchat for a
little, and I go back to the store, I turn around
and I say, "You remember my name, right?" She
says my name and I say, "Good job."...
(I had to edit this one, because it was just
too long here)
...So I've had problems where I'll call the girl,
and I won't reach her. I'll leave my name and
number either with the machine or with the person
who picked up the phone. But the problem is, they
don't call back sometimes. Should I call again?
Should I just say Next!? And I don't know if I
should leave a cocky and funny message on the
machine and what I should say, and I'm a little
wary because what if she lives with other people,
like parents or something?...
S.G. from Jersey
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is quite possibly the greatest idea I've
heard this year for getting a woman's name,
number and email.
"I was wondering if you'd like to take a quick
survey" LOL!
To answer your questions:
STOP CALLING FIRST ON THE PHONE... EMAIL FIRST
INSTEAD.
Women will answer your emails probably TWICE as
often as they'll return calls, so start there.
Then get on the phone to set up the plans in a
few minutes and get off. Stop playing the phone
game!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I can't thank you enough. Your book has taught me
so much, and given me so much confidence in life
and especially in the women department. I DIDN'T
HAVE A CLUE. Now..I have always been good at
attracting girls early on, but for some reason I
could never keep one for more than a couple of
weeks. It sucked. My confidence level went way
down and i could never figure out what the deal
was.
Well I finally decided it was time to change
things so i got on the net and eventually stumbled
on to your newsletter, and about a month later i
bought your book.. Complete turnaround. Now I know
what was wrong. I had a bad case of WUSSYNITIS.
Every time I got together with a girl i turned
into a complete wuss. Now I have to fight 'em off
with a stick. I have so much fun bustin' their
balls and they LOVE ME FOR IT. And well.. Thanks
for giving me a clue. S. from TX.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're not alone. Men all over the world are
victims of the same psychological disorder... the
one you call:
WUSSYITIS
Now, I might suggest that we try to find a name
that's a little more catchy for the psychology
books, but hey... it's a good start.
One of the problems with what I'll call "The
Inner Wuss" is that it's HARD TO GET RID OF for
most guys.
It's way too easy to slip back into Wuss Mode
with a woman, and screw things up INSTANTLY.
The "Inner Wuss" often makes an appearance at
the WORST time (when you want to approach a woman
and start a conversation, for instance).
If you want to succeed with women, you MUST get
rid of the INNER WUSS.
By the way, there are TWO PARTS to successfully
approaching women.
The first part is to get your INNER GAME
together...
I'm talking about overcoming fear, building a
confident self-image and getting yourself into a
positive mental state.
The second part is the TECHNIQUES.
Here I'm talking about where to go, how to
approach, what to say, and everything in between.
If you're interested in getting these two
aspects of your "game" together, then you MUST
check out two of my programs...
For the first part (the Inner Game), you need
to get your hands on a copy of my "Deep Inner
Game" DVD program.
This is literally an ARSENAL of tools and
techniques to help you re-work your self-image,
self-esteem, and self-confidence... all in the
area of WOMEN AND DATING.
It includes what I consider to be the most
powerful psychological concepts ever discovered
and all I can say is that you MUST check it out.
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/13564/Catalog/
The world itself, inside us...
Regards,Ralp~
